Journey

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/journey/IMG_0923Every journey begins with an idea, a plan, a step. All journeys must start somewhere, whether on google or trivago or own our own, a plan of action is begun. For me my journey began with my trek back to the light and to Positivity. After falling into a depression and not really having the funds to go to a therapist I set out on my own personal journey to a balanced mental state on August 1, 2012. During July I had come up with my itinerary for this expedition, I called it 3/30 for 30. For this plan I was going to help my Mind, Body and Soul by participating in 3 activities for 30 minutes a day for the 30 days of August. For my Mind I read a book for 30 minutes a day, for my Body I walked 30 minutes a day and for my Soul I would paint for 30 minutes. I prepared my art space, bought new sneakers and planned my walking route. As August first was nearing still not feeling quite right my dread and fear almost stopped this journey but I’m Irish and a little stubborn so I began with lots of doubts filling my head. The easiest of these tasks was the painting, or so I thought, my first inclination was to with paint and brushstrokes to put my feelings on the canvas but as I picked up my brushes I decided to do the opposites and began to paint Sunflowers. Big, bright yellow, happy looking Sunflowers appeared on my canvas which made me smile even if it was only while I was painting. During my walks I would ponder the turns my life had taken, the almost loss of my job, the cancer diagnosis of my Mom, the loss of a stipend position as class advisor and other things. I live in a very small town not much happens here so when you walk by yourself you don’t always have to keep things to yourself, you can talk aloud, yell, scream or cry and pretty much be guaranteed not to be heard by anyone. And so my walk/talks began, I plodded along slowly at first with dark thoughts but as time went on I focused in on the positive things I had in my life. These walks became less drudgery and more enjoyable, I would notice the sky, the trees, the church and other buildings around the common, the light and the colors. The most difficult  of the tasks was to read, I’ve never been a strong reader as I tend to get lost in every single word rather than seeing the broader concepts that the authors present. I read every word and get bored easily with a book. It was difficult to sit quietly and to read because my mind was racing with dark thoughts. At first I had to force myself to read and it was torture. As the month and my journey continued, things got easier, I lost some weight, my spirits were lifted so that when halfway through the month of August I realized that it actually had 31 days not 30, I could laugh at my mistake rather than cry. By the end of the month, I felt accomplished, I felt lighter and I felt balanced.

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